Patience

"Ahhh. I've been waiting all week for this." I said after I took the first delicious sip of my decaf almond milk latte.

My friend Amanda gave me a look and I explained further "I've been craving an almond milk latte ALL week. But I told myself I'd wait to get it until the weekend. I'm working on cultivating my patience."

A very much enjoyed coffee date :)

A very much enjoyed coffee date :)

I'm not naturally the patient type. When I see something that I want, I want it now. When I recognize a behavior in myself that isn't supportive, I want to change it ASAP.

And while this can often be a great motivator to get sh*t done and continually improve, I've also seen impatience lead to one too many impulse purchases, overindulging with certain foods and a general inability to be without.

I know I'm not alone and this is by no means my fault.

Our modern society does not foster patience with our 24-hour businesses, social media platforms that we're constantly updating and sites like Amazon.com where you can buy almost anything and have it delivered to you (often for FREE) within 2 days. Not to mention books and movies and shows all available at the click of a button.

It's not only food and things that we go overboard on, but also information.

Just like there's value in having space to digest food, there's value in the "in between" time - time where we don't have the answer or the next season or new cookbook.

So something I'm working on this year is PATIENCE. Instead of immediately buying or downloading or searching, I'm asking myself to take more space around my actions and decisions.

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What cultivating PATIENCE looks like for me...

 - When I hear of a new book I want to read, I'm not immediately buying or downloading it. I'll request it from my local library and WAIT for it to become available, even if there's a waiting list.

 - When I have a craving for a certain treat (like an almond milk latte), I'll give myself time before immediately giving in. This may just mean I wait until that afternoon, or maybe it means I wait until the weekend. If I still want the thing then, I'll have it and enjoy it fully.

- When I have a random question, I'll think about it before looking up the answer on the internet. This is more for little questions that pop up in life or in conversation (What was the name of that song we used to sing? I wonder what spice they use in this dish?) versus specific work or task focused questions.

- Instead of sharing ideas the moment they pop up, I'll sit with them a little longer to allow them to marinate. There are some exciting things I'm working on now that I want to share with you all, but I also know they'll be more flushed out and ultimately more impactful if they're given the appropriate time and space to blossom.

Not only has this practice of patience been supportive of my bank account, but I also feel like I'm using and strengthening my brain and my INTUITION more. The additional time and space allows me to more often connect to myself and understand if there's something else behind my craving or desire to buy or learn or know.

Maybe patience is no big deal for you, but my hunch is that patience is something most of us living within modern society could be more aware of.

If anything I shared today resonated with you, I encourage you to try it out! Pick one of the examples I listed above and practice it for a week or two. See how you feel and maybe where you could apply these principles in other areas of your life.

And then let me know how it goes!


HOW ARE YOU PRACTICING PATIENCE?

Leave a comment below so we can all be inspired!

Lessons from Sedona

Last Tuesday Robyn asked me to share my insights or takeaways from my trip to Sedona with our Rockstar Coaching Collective ladies. I did tons of self reflection during the trip, but as soon as I got back to NYC I jumped into a full weekend yoga training at The Studio and didn’t truly have time to process the experience and my thoughts around it.

As I’ve shared before, creating time and space to “digest” experiences is just as important as creating time and space to digest your food. It’s all connected.

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In addition, verbalizing any reflections, goals, visions, worries or fears with someone else is powerful because it allows those things space to live outside your head. With the more positive pieces (visions, dreams, wishes, intentions), sharing allows others to see those things for you and sort of “co-manifest” - once they know your goals, they can see where they might be able to help you out, hold you accountable, or simply remind you of whatever it is when something else distracts you.

With the fears and worries - divulging helps dissipate the energy, and also allows space for compassion, empathy and support from others. SO often the things that bring us down the most are things that we keep inside, and once we say it out loud we realize “Oh, it’s not that bad!” or we realize that it’s okay to ask for help.

Because my experience last week with the Rockstar women was so powerful (for both me and the women in the group), today I’m sharing some of of the insights I had on my Sedona vacation.

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Insight 1: Don’t underestimate the importance of personal space (especially for my highly sensitive peeps!)

I know how important personal space is for me, but it seems like I’m constantly put in situations (or I put myself in situations) where I have an opportunity to learn it again (and again and again).

Some of you may have seen on Instagram, but our first few nights in Sedona I was sharing a studio room with my parents, where I was sleeping on a pull out couch adjacent to their bed and the kitchenette. For some people this might have been okay, but for me it was not.

There was no where for any of us to go if we wanted privacy or quite time, and no boundaries between any of the spaces (their space, my space, the communal space).

Again, for some people this tight space might have been okay. For me, with my parents (and likely with MOST people) it’s not. I need my own space, when it’s anything longer than a weekend. NOTED for future.

How I tried to create personal space with couch cushions in our tiny studio. We moved to a bigger room half way through the week and it made SUCH a big different.

How I tried to create personal space with couch cushions in our tiny studio. We moved to a bigger room half way through the week and it made SUCH a big different.

Insight 2: There’s not always a lightening bolt moment.

Sedona is known to be a magical, healing place. Pretty much everyone who had visited told me “You’re going to have the BEST time. It’s such a magical place.”

I think I was expecting to show up and physically feel this life-changing vibration, but I didn’t.

The stuff going on in my family didn’t miraculously shift. The challenges going on in my own brain didn’t either.

And I realized healing doesn’t always happen in a miraculous way, just like insights or big ideas don’t ALWAYS come in one dramatic flash. Change can happen in small ways, over time.

Sure the dramatic moments exist: Love at first sight, lightening bolt AHA moment, a song that triggers a memory and a wave of cathartic tears. But most of the time it’s small, gradual shifts that create real change.

Those small changes are what I noticed on this trip. He acted differently. I reacted differently. She said something differently. There wasn’t a 180 with anything, and that’s totally okay.

Insight 3: Nature is so healing

Healers and healing practices (like yoga or meditation) are great. But there’s something so fundamentally healing about nature - maybe it’s the space, maybe it’s the quite, but simply BEING with trees (or sky, or sun or ocean) is sometimes enough.

So note to self: MORE NATURE IN MY LIFE!

Me feeling calm and clear after a hard (but beautiful) hike!

Me feeling calm and clear after a hard (but beautiful) hike!

Insight 4: When you feel safe in your body you’re able to handle the harder situations.

This was less of an aha moment, but rather an aha that dropped IN.

I teach people to treat their bodies as their homes. To take care of this place, to be comfortable in it, to make peace with it. But this still isn’t something I feel all the time myself.

I KNEW it in my head, but it hadn’t dropped down into my being until this trip.

One night of the trip (while still in the small space) things were hard. There was an argument, some not nice things were said. I was hurt and angry.

In the past, I’d choose to escape - go for a run, watch a show, make food, work, etc. Avoid the feelings for fear that they were too much for me to handle.

This time instead of avoiding my feelings, I chose to go IN to the discomfort and pain. I did some yoga (mostly child’s pose) and connected to my breath.

I heard the mantra: I am safe in my body. And more than heard it, I FELT it.

And I realized I was safe. I could feel the tough feelings, but not let them consume me.

Insight 5: Sometimes people or situations are meant to teach us how not to act or what not to do in the future.


This is a cliche saying but I GOT IT. There were some pieces of the trip that didn’t go as planned or how I would have liked. Instead of getting resentful or angry, I allowed myself to see the lesson.

In the future, I won’t book a flight like this.

In the future, I won’t agree to these sleeping arrangements.

In the future, I won’t eat that food.

Instead of stewing on the less than perfect present moment, I saw the thing that felt off and THANKED situation for it’s lesson, and thanked myself for being able to see that lesson.

I didn’t listen to my gut and this meal didn’t settle right. NOTED for future.

I didn’t listen to my gut and this meal didn’t settle right. NOTED for future.

Insight 6: There’s a BIG shift happening within me.

And it’s TERRIFYING. But it’s also so precious and I don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to get clearer on who I am and what I want out of life.

I’ve been feeling this for a few months now - like there’s a re-working of my insides happening. I know that some big changes are coming in my life this year, but right now it feels more like the shift is happening within me.

The outward direction of my ship isn’t completely changing, but the inner compass is recalibrating… and the destination will be different over time.

This became even more clear to me on this trip, and it’s why I’ve felt the need to disconnect from social media, to have more quite time, and to spend more time with ME.

Insight 7: I AM tuned into myself.

Towards the end of the trip I met with a psychic. She was recommended by a friend and *almost* everything she said felt spot on but nothing was WOAH OMG.

After sharing this with the Rockstar group, I had the insight: Wow, cool, I AM tuned into myself.

I do a lot of self work, I spend a lot of time journaling and being introspective. It’s cool to see that that works and that I can trust my intuition and myself.

I know myself! Cool!

I know myself! Cool!




Well there you have it folks - my 7 insights from 7 days in Sedona.

I’d love to hear if anything I shared above resonated with you - leave a comment below and let me know!

And if you’re curious to read more about what I did on the trip, check out this post: Sedona Travel Guide.

 

When food is more than food

My Grandma Shirley passed away last week. Even though computers and emails weren't her thing, she was signed up for my newsletter list and she learned how to use her iPad so she could read and reply to my weekly emails (and ask me follow up questions when I'd chat with her on the phone or see her in person).

Today I'm sharing a story I posted on Instagram this weekend in her memory. While I'm understandably mourning the fact that she is no longer with us physically, I'm comforted in knowing that these memories (especially those linked to common place activities such as food and cooking) will live on in my heart.

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When I was a little girl, my brother and I would have sleepovers at my grandparents house and we’d always make chocolate chip pancakes in the morning. My grandma had these molds so we could make our pancakes in the shape of dinosaurs and teddy bears, the chocolate chips creating eyes and faces on these shapes.

As I grew older, pancakes took on other memories: making them for my friends after sleepovers (Bisquick mix of course),  later enjoying stacks at IHOP when we got to go into school late because of standardized testing, and most recently discovering paleo pancakes made from egg and bananas, and treating myself to these healthified yet decadent cakes on special occasions.

Each time I have pancakes I’m reminded of those mornings with my grandma and brother - the glee that came from getting to eat chocolate for breakfast and the special connection that truly only exists between grandparent and grandchild.

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Food holds memories.

Food can remind us of a feeling, or of a different time and place.

Food is so much more than calories or nutrients.

Food is love.

We haven’t had a chocolate chip pancake morning in a long time. My grandma had diabetes and me being me won’t touch Bisquick with a 10 foot pole.

On Friday I found myself ordering a stack of paleo pancakes at one of my favorite NYC spots. I wasn’t really that hungry, and I knew the chocolate and coconut flour and egg wouldn’t be the best for my gut. But I knew this wasn’t about the pancakes themselves; it was about a memory.

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I feel so fortunate to have these memories and many more. And if I need to use food sometimes to access them, to feel that memory in my body in a more visceral way, I’m okay with that.

Food is so much more than just food.

And I hope it stays that way.

Love you and our special memories Grandma Shirley, pancakes and beyond.

In loving memory of Shirley Elaine Nachazel (March 31st, 1933 - January 18th, 2019)

Make a vision board with me!

This weekend I took myself on a little retreat out of the city. I rented a room via AirBnB and got out of town. I wanted to give myself space to think about the year ahead and find clarity for some personal and professional things (thoughts, visions, worries, plans) that had been swirling in my mind.

One of the things I wanted to get clarity on for my business was if and how I should host a vision board workshop.

As I shared last week, creating a vision board has been a tradition of mine for the past few years. In addition to making my own board, I've led in-person workshops to teach my students, friends and community how they too can create a vision board that actually works (there are some secrets I've learned over the years!).

A new year, a blank slate to create on

A new year, a blank slate to create on

This year I wasn't sure what to do with my vision board workshop - I knew for certain I want to host more in-person events in 2019, but I also knew that many of you are not in the NYC area. And that January can be a busy month as we all get back into the swing of things after the holiday season.

I wanted to offer something around visioning that would serve my community, but also serve me. With this career path I've taken (and with my personality and human design) if I'm not feeling lit up by something, I know it won't be as impactful since my JOB is to lead by example - to live my life in a way that feels inspired and aligned so that you can feel empowered to do the same.

Last week my mind was planning out ways I could do both an in-person workshop AND a virtual one (I'm still a people pleaser at heart) - going through the details of scheduling, if and how much I would charge, how I'd promote, etc etc. But it didn't feel fun.

My gut said to get quiet - to get out of the city noise, and out of my regular routine so that I could better listen for an answer.

And so that's exactly what I did. I booked one night at an AirBnB about an hour outside of the city, arranged to borrow a friend's car and packed my bags (yes, I had multiple bags for a one night trip - c'mon books and food and crystals can't all fit in one backpack with clothes!).

It didn't take long for the answers to come. I spent the afternoon exploring some cute little towns and as soon as I checked into my AirBnB I started journaling. I pretty quickly got clarity not only on the vision board question, but a whole lot of other things with my business and life.

My cute AirBnB room. Nothing fancy, but it did work magic!

My cute AirBnB room. Nothing fancy, but it did work magic!

What I heard about my vision board conundrum was two things:

  1. YES to more in-person events, but not to make vision boards and not this month. I had a whole download (which is what I call thoughts that pour out of my head and onto the page effortlessly, as if they're being downloaded from an external source) on exactly what these events are meant to be and it was clear that the vision board workshop was not one of them. I am SUPER excited for this to play out (and will of course be sharing more details as they come). Click the link in the PS of this email to stay updated on all in person things!

  2. Share the vision board workshop you already hosted this year. What I didn't mention above is that this past Thursday I had the great fortune to lead the women in our Rockstar Coaching Collective group through my vision board workshop. I thought that this would be "practice" for my real workshop. But I realized that this workshop was AMAZING itself - I already did it and recorded it. Why do something over again? Why not just share the recording with you all?

So that's exactly what I'm doing today - I'm sharing my 2019 Vision Board Workshop with you!

This workshop is a recorded webinar so you can watch it in the comfort of your own home, and when it works with your schedule. You can turn it on while you're folding laundry or cooking dinner, or you can round up your art supplies (paper, old magazines, markers, etc!) and begin to craft your vision board as you watch.

What you'll learn in this 60 minute video workshop:

  • My personal story and why I make vision boards

  • Why YOU might want to make a board

  • My 3 tips for making a vision board that actually WORKS

Plus, you'll see my past vision boards, including a very personal one I haven't shared anywhere before.

Watch the workshop here: 2019 Rockstar Vision Board Workshop

As I mentioned above, this workshop was recorded as one of our weekly Rockstar Coaching Collective calls. I've shared a bit about Rockstar before - it's a high level coaching program that I help run alongside Robyn Youkilis. Every week we have a video call - some led by Robyn, some led by me and some we have special guest appearances - that's a mix of health, life and business coaching.

We have one or two spots opening up to start with us in February - if you loved this video workshop, or something on the program website sparks something in you, I'd encourage you to apply. And if you do apply - email me to let me know you've submitted an application so I can make sure we put your name on the top of our applicant list :)

Me showing off one of my past vision boards during the workshop!

Me showing off one of my past vision boards during the workshop!

I hope that this workshop serves you.

If you make a vision board (or if you just watch the workshop) - I want to know! Leave a comment below with one vision you have for the year ahead, or one helpful tip you learned from the workshop.

Year end reflection

I've created a vision board every year since I've been self employed. I love the process of sorting through magazines and allowing myself time to dream about what I want for the year ahead. It's also fun to CREATE a visual reminder of these dreams and wishes.

My vision board for 2018!

My vision board for 2018!

In addition to making my vision board, I also do some journaling around specific goals and intentions for the year.

As fun as visioning about the future is, it's equally (if not MORE) important to also reflect on the past.

The past holds a lot of information for us - things we've experienced, lessons learned and challenges faced. It can be easy to skip over the reflection part, especially if where we're coming from doesn't feel good.

And even if we have accomplished our goals, as a society we place a heavy value on achievement and forward motion, so jumping right into the next goal is more natural for us than taking a moment to look back and reflect.

This week I'm challenging myself to take the time to reflect. I'll be sharing more about how to create a vision board for yourself next week (including a special opportunity to make one WITH me!!) but for now, I encourage you to do the same.

Whether you're traveling or with family, or already back to work, carve out some time in your schedule to look back on 2018. It can be just 20 minutes or perhaps you want to devote an afternoon to reflection.

Your reflection time doesn't have to be you seated in mediation: Sure, you can spend some time with a journal in your home, or you can take yourself to the spa (I do a LOT of great reflection during my weekly acupuncture treatments and whenever I do manage to book a massage), or go for a hike, or put yourself in another scenario that allows you to be with your thoughts.

Whatever you can make time for, I do strongly recommend putting a pen to paper and writing out at least some of your thoughts.


Here are some prompts to meditate or journal on:

What am I proud of myself for doing (or not doing) in 2018?

What goals did I accomplish? How did this feel for me?

What didn't I accomplish? Why?

List out some moments where you felt JOY, passionate or fully alive. What made these moments so special?

List out some moments that felt really crappy. What was it about these moments that didn't feel good?

Are there any WORDS or FEELINGS that sum up a lot of my experience this year?

If you did set specific goals or make a vision board, make sure you look back on them at some point during your reflection.

These are the action items that I created with my vision for 2018:

Ha, look at that second to last to do!


Honestly, if I hadn't looked back on these, I may have focused more on what I didn't achieve, instead of reflecting and seeing what I DID do. And while taking a look at what you didn't do or where you felt you fell short is an important part of the reflection process (see prompts above!), it's often over emphasized.

My challenge myself is for you too: make time to reflect this week. Right now look at your calendar and see when you can fit it in. Shuffle commitments around or great creative - a flight or long car ride can be an awesome opportunity to look back and go in. Just make sure you take a photo of your prior year goals or visions, and a screen shot of the prompts above so that you have what you need to do so.

Next week we'll get into the fun stuff - the visioning and goal setting for 2019! Stay tuned :)