I'm going to be real honest with you today: The last few weeks I've been questioning where I'm going with my career.
This may come as a surprise, especially after I just shared how the Institute for Integrative Nutrition changed my life, but I've been having some "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??" thoughts.
Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's the fact that I'm currently paying most of my GI doctor bills out of pocket (self employed health insurance is no fun friends!), maybe it's because Mercury is retrograding in Scorpio, or maybe it's because I just hit my 5 year New York anniversary.
Or maybe it's because in my gut I know something needs to change.
Change is never easy because the unknown is often scarier than our current reality, no matter how much pain or suffering we are in.
Don't get me wrong - I'm beyond grateful for so much in my job and life. I experience joy, have meaningful connections and feel a sense of awe on a regular basis. But as I get older and spend more time tuning in, I'm realizing that my values are different than what they were when I was 25 and initially made the choice to pursue this alternative career path.
No, I'm not going back to work as an accountant (at least I don't plan to right now). I don't know what I'm going to do. But what I do know is that when I start to feel this way it means I need to spend more time with myself, asking myself big questions and holding space for answers to come.
I want to say that being an entrepreneur isn't easy, but really being a human isn't easy. In my life experience so far (all 30 years!) I've learned that there's not always a "right choice." There's not always a clear path. Things with work, relationships, family, food even - it's not always black and white.
I want to stay in an get a good nights sleep but I also want to go out and dance with my friends. I want to live a life of intention and do work that I'm passionate about, but I also want security and stability and creature comforts. I love the city but I also deeply crave time in nature.
As modern day humans we have a lot of choices, which is such a blessing, but sometimes I find the freedom and possibility a little daunting.
This is why I'm taking a little break from social media. It's amazing how much more time and how much more quiet I can find in my day without scrolling and consuming (and comparing) on Instagram.
I really do miss sharing with many of you (and so many others) on a regular basis. I love the platform and the opportunity to create and teach and connect. But I know in my gut and in my heart this is what I need right now - a little less noise from everyone else and everything else, and a little more quiet time with my thoughts and feelings.
If you've been feeling overwhelmed with information, or know that you too are going through a transition and have some decisions to think over, I'm encouraging you to find more time for quiet over the next few weeks. That may mean taking some time off social media, watching less TV, not consuming as much news - you likely know what in your life you could stand to take a break from. The winter holidays are a perfect time to do this as we all naturally slow down a little bit.
As always, thanks for reading and being here with me. If anything that I shared in this post resonated, I'd love to hear from you - sometimes I feel like everyone else has it figured out and I'm the only one who has all these thoughts bouncing around in my head ;)
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